Nonsense, of course. Like most conspiracy theories, the scenarios spun since Diana’s death lead everywhere and nowhere. There’s no evidence to support any of them. Many of the juiciest theories circulate on the Internet, where postings about Diana are rapidly becoming as numerous as those about the deaths of JFK, Marilyn Monroe and the king of the afterworld, Elvis Presley. But it is Egypt, homeland of the Fayeds, that has become the center of a booming conspiracy-theory industry.

Already at least half-a-dozen books about the dead princess are on sale in Cairo. One called ““Who Killed Diana?!’’ was written in three days and is selling briskly enough, at $1.47 a copy, to warrant a second edition, out this week. Author Mohamed Ragab maintains that Britain’s royal family and ““Jewish circles’’ ordered the deaths to keep Diana from marrying Dodi. In the daily Al Ahram, Anis Mansour, a former adviser to Anwar Sadat, said Diana was ““killed by British Intelligence to save the monarchy.’’ A well-known Egyptian film director, Khairy Beshara, is writing the script for a movie about Diana’s life. He has doubts about the conspiracy theories, but he says she ““suffered from cruel traditions’’ imposed on her by her in-laws.

Egyptians jumped to ugly conclusions about Diana’s death partly because of a deeply ingrained feeling that the British, who ruled them until 1952, regard them as inferior. Egyptians say ““a Dodi cannot marry the Princess of Wales, and the British would go as far as having them killed,’’ says newspaper columnist Mohamed Sid Ahmed. ““Conspiracy theories are a stock in trade here,’’ says Tim Sullivan, a political-science professor at American University in Cairo. He traces the cause to a sense of powerlessness. ““When you think you don’t have control over your life and over events,’’ he says, ““then conspiracy theories explain what is happening.''

The ailment must be global. The First Diana Conspiracy Site popped up on the Internet in Australia only hours after her death was announced. ““The whole thing seems too pat and too convenient,’’ it said, putting blame for the crash on Western governments, arms manufacturers and the royal family. One NEWSWEEK reporter heard the theory about the remote-control device in Paris, London, Los Angeles and Milan, where a bodyguard claimed that the Mercedes S-280, the model used by Diana, often figures in murderous ““accidents.''

In Los Angeles, Leslie Barry, 35, voices another widely held theory for which no evidence has yet emerged. ““I’m sure the royals did a blood test on her body and found out she was pregnant,’’ Barry says. ““They’ll probably now use this to blackmail Diana’s family, especially if her brother tries to have more contact with the boys.’’ Other people think the crash was aimed at killing Dodi, not Diana. ““I heard he stiffed some people in his business here,’’ says a patron at a hair salon on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles.

Then there are the true believers who think Diana is still alive. Subscribers to this theory, perhaps the nuttiest idea of all, say she was fed up with the intrusions on her private life and used the resources of the wealthy Fayed family to fake her own death. One message on the LondonNet Web site says Diana and Dodi are living on ““a small tropical island near the Middle East,’’ communicating with her sons by ““satellite video conferencing.’’ It’s a comforting thought for those who aren’t too picky about facts or logic: that Diana made herself the object of her own conspiracy. And now she can sing duets with Elvis.