I grew up on a farm with very calm, loving and joyful people who were connected to nature. We were farmers. The access to education wasn’t there, but I was very connected to nature and animals because of my upbringing. I moved to the U.S. in 1990 and I love that because it’s a layer of me. I am an immigrant, I am Mexican, I am a proud pet parent for my pack and father to my children. I have a lot of layers and those layers are what create wisdom.
When I first arrived in America, I was working as a dog trainer in Los Angeles and I met Jada Pinkett Smith. I worked with a lot of Rottweilers back then and one day I gave a demonstration showing how to train them that Jada attended. Then when someone gave her a Rottweiler, she called me and I began to work with her. Our friendship developed to a point where I felt free to tell her, in my broken English, that I would love to have a TV or radio show so I could teach people what I knew about training dogs. She felt my sincerity and my passion and explained that I would need to speak English to do that. Then, she got me an English tutor. I learned English for a year, and Jada and I have now been friends for decades.
I love the J.F. Kennedy quote: “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” As an immigrant, I had this knowledge from my upbringing about dogs that I could share. America loves dogs, I come from poverty and the gifts that dogs get in America are unbelievable. A dog is a member of the family. That’s something that as a Mexican kid I never saw, and dogs were off leash there. I only saw a dog on a leash when I came to America.
So something I noticed straight away was that the life of a dog in America was different. The house is their kennel, they are indoors most of the time and living a luxurious life. Most dogs that are pets go outside for an hour or so a day for walks. I know a lot of super rich dogs who fly private, but they still live a similar indoor lifestyle.
When a dog is not happy, I say that it can “fight, flight or avoid.” Fight is shown as aggression, flight is fear and avoidance would be, “my dog doesn’t listen to me”. If an owner can understand where the dog is at, they can then take action to remove the issue. For example, that aggression is energy. If we can exercise a dog and find what they like, we can channel aggression. I see that most people know how to give a dog affection but not everyone knows how to give a dog exercise and proper stimulation. So, my belief is that the first focus should be on the human; that is my technique. I train humans and rehabilitate dogs. The dog is step three. First we work on the home, the human family and then the dog.
We all go to places where the environment affects us. So firstly we need to make sure the environment of that dog is safe, peaceful and loving, and that the humans are calm, confident, loving and joyful. Then we can practice walking with the dog, playing with the dog and exploring with the dog. But first you have to fix the foundation for the dog. Sometimes, the human doesn’t have the energy or the willpower to change what they’re doing, so they say they’d rather have another dog. But in those situations you can find the dog another human. Over the past 30 years, I have trained millions of humans, directly and because people watch my shows on TV and read my books. I’m more focused on training humans because one human can have 10 dogs.
I’ve worked with Oprah Winfrey three times which was an incredible experience. I was helping a leader who is very influential in the human world, but not in the dog world. That is the beauty of my profession, I get to help incredible people who have accomplished so much. I see them as role models so it’s very humbling. These people work hard. It was also really nice to work with Jennifer Lopez, training her dogs. I’m a Latino and, to me, she is a queen. And of course, I work with all kinds of people, so I have three simple rules all dog owners can use to help train their dog.
Meeting your dog
Have calm meetings. The first thing you do before you adopt a dog, before you walk a dog, play with a dog, sleep with a dog or feed a dog, is meet them. So every time you “meet” your dog once they are in your home, as soon as you wake up or come back from work, practice no touch, no talking and no eye contact. You practice silence and being calm until your dog calms down. Then you can give them a “good boy!”
Teaching your dog to follow
The second thing is for a dog to learn how to follow you. Make sure you learn to walk with a dog next to you, instead of in front of you. That’s going to allow them to see you as the leader, to remove their nose from the ground and keep their eyes focused on whatever you want. You’re driving the momentum and the dog is the passenger. The dog is practicing this activity of “follow the leader.”
Claiming the space
The third skill to practice is claiming space and ensuring the dog moves away from you and creates a social distance. They are respecting the space. We want people and our dogs to respect our intimate and personal space. In order to do this practice “inviting vs. invading.” So invite your dog into your space rather than letting it invade your space. That’s how you claim your home.
You have to speak to your dog as if you are in control of your energy so you can also be in control of the relationship. You are not being mean to the dog. You are allowing the dog to retain its instincts and know who is going to claim the stronger energy. This is my idea of “calm and confident energy.” It’s very simple. If you are going to follow someone, would you rather follow someone who is calm and confident or someone who is tense and insecure? Animals follow stable leaders. I’ve said many times, we’re the only species that follows unstable leaders.
I love the simplicity of dogs. They remind you of the natural, simple, profound elements of life. They don’t understand anything about money, fame or power. Having them around during challenging moments, like the pandemic, helps you stay connected. There is never a day when a dog doesn’t love living. Humans can drain you, but when you are around that energy of dogs it affects you in a beautiful way.
I love that I am known around the world as a dog trainer, but my proudest achievement is being a great dad to my two sons and a great son to my mother and father. To me, what it’s all about is improving the lives of people, animals and plants. To leave the world better than you found it. So, my goal is to teach people to connect with nature. With a dog, it’s easier to connect with nature because your dog is already connected in that way, but I want to help everyone in the world to live a natural, simple, profound life.
Cesar Millan is a Mexican-American dog behaviourist living in Los Angeles. His new show, Cesar Millan: Better Human, Better Dog airs Fridays on National Geographic, Sundays on Nat Geo WILD and new episodes available Wednesday on Disney+. You can follow him on Instagram @cesarsway.
All views expressed in this article are the author’s own.
As told to Jenny Haward.
